Wedding vows are the promises you make to each other that outline your commitment and set the stage for your future life as a married couple. Writing the perfect vows might seem like a daunting task, and it kind of is, but don’t worry … here’s all you need to know! 

What to Include:

Before you start writing, here’s the absolute must-include stuff!.

Say “I Love You”: It’s kind of obvious, yes, but we wonder how many people forget these 3 little words in their quest to get ‘everything else’ right! 

Commitment Through Thick and Thin: Marriage involves navigating life’s ups and downs together, the good, the bad, and the ugly! So include your intent to stick by your partner’s side, no matter what.

Personal Stories: Share a memorable moment or a unique aspect of your relationship. This adds a personal touch and highlights why your partnership is special.

Make Promises: Vows are essentially promises to each other. These can be serious or light-hearted, like promising to share chores or never hog the remote. We find a mix of both always helps with any nerves as the crowd giggles at the humorous promises!

Acknowledge the Support You’ll Need: Marriage is a journey and sometimes you’ll need help from friends, family, or each other. This shows you’re realistic about what lies ahead.

Tips for Writing Your Vows:

Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute: A classic error -although some of us work better under pressure! Try to start early to give yourself plenty of time to think, write, and revise. Last-minute vows often lead to unnecessary stress and possibly a hindsight thought or two! .

Make a List of Your Thoughts: Write down all your ideas, memories, and feelings. This brainstorming step will help to prioritise what it is you want to say and also prevent youfrom forgetting something!

Write at Least Three Drafts: Your first draft probably won’t be perfect. So, write multiple drafts to refine your thoughts and ensure your vows are polished.

Don’t Include Everything: Keep it concise. Focus on the most important points to make your vows impactful without being overly long.

Avoid Overpromises: Words like “always” and “never” can set unrealistic expectations. Use language that reflects your intentions but without making absolute promises.

Be Genuine: Speak in a way that’s true to you. Can people hear your personality shining through? If so, then this is authenticity at its best.

Incorporate Humor: A bit of humor can lighten the mood and make your vows more relatable. Share a funny anecdote or a charming quirk about your partner.

Draw Inspiration from Books, Songs, and Movies: If you’re stuck, think about your favourite books, songs, or movies for ideas. Sometimes a quote or a lyric can perfectly capture your feelings or kick start the writing process. 

Practice Reading Out Loud: We can’t stress this one enough. Hearing how your vows sound can help catch any awkward phrasing. It also helps you get comfortable with your delivery - don’t underestimate those nerves on the big day. 

Seek Feedback: Ask a friend or family member to listen to your vows and provide feedback. An outside perspective can be invaluable.

Make a Fresh Copy: Once you’re happy with your vows, write or print a clean copy to use during the ceremony. This avoids any last-minute ‘argh’s’ as you’re forced to read from a scribbled piece of paper.

Keep Them Secret: While it’s important to agree on certain aspects of your vows - see below! - keep the actual content a surprise. This adds a bit of excitement and sincerity to the moment.

Get Aligned: 

It’s important to discuss with your partner about the style and content of your vows to make sure they complement each other. 

Length: Agree on a general length for your vows. You don’t want one person’s vows to be lengthy while the others are brief. #awkward!

Tone: Decide if you want your vows to be more humorous or serious. Striking a balance that feels right for both of you is key.

Inside Jokes: Allowed or not? They can be cute, but make sure they’re not so obscure that your guests won’t understand. A shared laugh is great, but inclusion is important too.

Traditional Elements: Discuss whether you want to include any traditional elements or phrases in your vows - you never know some of these might be important to your other half and the tradition and customs of marriage. 



Remember, the best vows are straightforward and reflect who you are as a couple. They should communicate your commitments, share a bit of your story, and set the stage for your life together as partners. So take a deep breath, get started early and let your thoughts flow …